The habits instilled today
As a parent, I know that the day will come when my daughter wants nothing to do with me. (Or so she will say.) The things I buy her won't be trendy enough, the clothes I wear won't be cool enough. I won't be able to bake cookies like Becky Lou down the street's mom, who manned the bake sale for the Drama Club and still managed to say out of sight. I will, in short, be an embarassment to my child.
That day will come. And while I dread it, I have a secret plan. Listen up.
By the time my child is 6 or 9 or 13 or 15 or 19, there will be something about me that embarasses her. These things will change as she grows older. I ((GASP)) kiss her goodbye at school. I offer to drive her to school instead of riding the bus with her friends. I take her to buy a training bra. I wait up for her after a date. I kiss her goodbye when I bring her to Freshman Orientation at ND. But by then, I will have brainwashed her but good. ;)
Starting from 6 months (at least), I began to create rituals/habits/routines within our days. Every morning, I sing the same song to her. When we see a butterfly, we sing the same song about butterflies flying. When scary storms strike, we sing the the same song about angels. At night, we brush her hair with 50 strokes, and then my hair with 100 strokes. (And yes, she helps with both.) And when it's time for bed, we sing the same two songs. These are just some of them... the ones I've started now. As she gets older, things will change, and routines will be added and adjusted.
(Looking at them, you probably notice that many of them involve music. I am a firm believer that many people can easily associate a song with a particular action, event, or feeling.) By the time she's old enough to question her mother's "cool-ness", these songs and habits will be an irreversible part of her mental and emotional make-up. They will be the threads that bind us together, even when her words or looks or actions say otherwise.
Every night, she will brush her hair, and I will know. Every time she sees a butterfly, I know that even if she doesn't really sing it, she will remember the song, and somehow think of me. And I will have made myself a part of her day.
Even on the days when she wishes I was more like Becky Lou's mother.
posted by Resolution Gal | 9:26 PM
6 Comments:
You are such a sweet mama. She may hate that you kiss her when you drop her off at ND (after all, cool O'Molly O'Catherine's mom will be watching...) but I am sure, 30 years from now, she and her daughter will be singing the same butterfly and angel songs...
I agree with Rosey. Very sweet Heather.
My daughter will be 8 in a few weeks and it is still okay for me to kiss her goodbye. I do wonder when it will start to bug her.
Oh, Hamster...I'm going to cry! Matthew and I love music too, and he definitely responds to it so we have some special songs...I just hope he remembers them fondly 30 years from now too. Aw...here come the water works...
--QDSB
Molly O'Catherine's mom will be at the bar waiting for you ;)
Awww....
Tess
I was just listening to my "River of Dreams" CD...and the lyrics below from the song "Goodnight my Angel"...(of course I was bawling my HEAD off but I thought of you - note the phrases in bold!):
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep
Inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be
Post a Comment
<< Home