Tangible hope

As the end of summer draws near, my thought turn to the beginning of school. Another year of school, another year to see if there is any hope for the world. I'm not necessarily talking about the students, though. Each year, I manage to forget how some parents and educators can be. I'm not naive - I know that not everyone is happy, cheerful and upbeat all of the time. I will be the first to admit that I'm not. I can be downright negative and bitchy. But I have a much harder time being negative when I'm dealing with children. Particularly on the first few days of school. But maybe my experiences have something to do with it.

A few years ago, I met a lovely girl about my age, who was expecting her first child. At the time, she was 16. Needless to say, it wasn't a planned pregnancy. But despite all the obstacles facing her, she decided to have and keep the baby. When her son was born, she was 17. Still in high school, living with her parents, estranged from the child's father. And yet, she did what she had to do. She handled, at 17, what women twice her age have a hard time handling. She went to school during the day, stayed up with a screaming baby at night. When she nursed him, she also read her homework. There was little time, if any, to relax, and no thanks for any of it. In spite of the fact that she accepted responsibility for her actions and behaved admirably, she was often treated with hostility, criticism, and disgust by others - parents of friends, teachers, etc. At a time when what she most needed was support, she was given the cold shoulder.

Her son is now six years old. He is a bright, happy, healthy little boy. His mother works full time and takes college courses part time. She gets him up and ready for school in the morning and sees him to the bus stop. She gets off work each day in time to greet him when he gets out of school, and takes all school holidays off to spend with him. While there are times when she is as much of a kid as he is, if that's the worst thing that can be said about her parenting skills, she's doing pretty well in my book. And yet, when she brings her son to school, there are times when the teachers refuse to talk to her about how he is doing, and instead address her mother. The school principal ignores her concerns about a teacher's treatment of her child, and tells her that "young mothers" often have children with maturity issues. Other parents tell their children that she can't be the mother, she must be the sister of their classmate. Her battle begins again every year.

When we were sixteen, I had the temerity to ask my mom why other parents wouldn't let their kids hang out with her. My mom, in her wisdom, said that the other parents were concerned about the possibility of what their own kids might do if given the chance. And in their concern, they were forgetting one thing: that babies are always a good thing. Babies don't always come at the best possible time, or when the parent is "ready". But when they do come, they should be welcomed with open arms and hearts, and supported through the rough times and the times of celebration. Which is why we would stand by my friend, and welcome her and her child with gladness and joy.

Almost ten years later, that bit of wisdom is the basis for many of my feelings about all children. Children (and babies, especially) are hope made tangible. They are beings composed entirely of possibility. We can't forsee the future, or know how each child will turn out. So instead, we help them to open their eyes, and hearts, and minds to the wonders of the world. If we encourage them without fail, they can achieve amazing things. And in that, we are blessed.

My friend's life was saved by her child. Had she not had him, she more than likely would have continued on a path of self destruction. He wasn't a planned baby, but his birth set both of them onto a path of new possibilities. And at the end of the day, she goes home to that child, that being of tangible hope, and knows that she is doing all that she can to give him a bright future.

And as this school year begins again, she will hug him, and hold him close, and remind them that this year will be a great year, because they will work together, and try their hardest, and have fun learning. And she will remind him of this whenever things seem hard, or scary, or when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. We all need encouragement sometimes, but kids need it all the time. So won't you do the same for your kids?